Tanukitsune (tanukitsune) wrote,

I've played the most glorious train wreck of a game... (It's kinda long)

I can't help but to think that people today are too spoiled and complain was too easily... When someone tells me a game is simply horrid, I don't believe them and most of the time I have to see it by myself and most of the time... they are wrong!

The game the complain about is no award winner, but it's not awful, but since the average gamer only plays A+++ titles they feel like vomiting when they play a B-. They were only right when it came to Bomberman: Act Zero and Eternity Child, and then there is the game I played recently...

Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust is a game I almost didn't buy, but I'm SOOO GLAD I DID! It's the Showgirls of videogames! It's absolutely terrible in an amusing way! Of course, most bad games seem to have terrible controls that make it unplayable, but LSL: BOB is actually playable! It's the only thing I could call a "B game", a schlockfest, a glorious train wreck!

The game starts by kicking all the original LSL fans in the nuts by doing the worst thing possible, making Larry Laffer, the lovable loser, the owner of a successful movie company! At least in MCL he was drunk in a bar... And then, when you get over the fact that Larry is now a movie mogul you realize how utterly horrid the graphics are... I'm not kidding, at some moments they look PSOne good, but it's mostly like a bad PS2 or XBox game! The glass is NEVER transparent, and the few mirrors you find are N64 good! The rendering? You can be a stone throw away from a building and it will be in it's "N64 textures" mode for a few seconds until the real textures load... It was hilarious! How could this game pass quality control? I'm happy it did though, it's such a schlockfest! <3

I can't say much more about the graphics, except that the camera can go bonkers a little, and that they only have a handful of NPCs which they simply palette swap, even the ones that play a part in the game and you actually get to see close up, so you will see the same character dressed as a gentleman only to see it dressed a bum with a darker skin later.

Writing? Hmm, Twilight good? I'd say "My Immortal" good, but the spelling is actually decent! The plot? A rival movie company has a put a mole in your uncle's company, so he hires you to find him out... Except the mole is actually a saboteur, mole give information away, this guy is trying to get the studio ruined or worse... Oh, and this "mole"? You meet almost immediately and he practically tells you that he's the "mole", but you can't prove he's the mole until the end... even he sends you on missions that are OBVIOUS sabotages.... Yes, Larry Lovage is so stupid he sabotages his uncle's studio, no matter how obvious the sabotage is... When you're not ruining the studio you're trying to save, you're running errands or doing stunt work. And here is where it's rather obvious that this game was released unfinished, as if it's wasn't already...

In one mission, the director send you to find some props scattered across the lot, when you pick the first one, a shovel... it's like the missions you were doing never existed! Larry simply grabs the shovel and.... KILLS A STUNT MAN IN COLD BLOOD! Why? Because he thinks that's how they do foley sound effect? I assume the mole told him that, but who knows with this game... he then goes and kills a few more stunt men, thinking his weapon was just a prop... yeah.... This isn't the only instance of obvious "unfinishedness", in a later mission Larry gets some evidence against the mole and says he's never make it back to the office since there are too many guards looking for him, and.... they skip that scene! The next moment he's at office, just like that!

And don't even get me started on the humor! It's kindergarten level.. if kindergarten was full of drunken frat boys... And some are dated and rather obscure... in the horror movie set you have to dress up as Thriller Michael Jackson to get in, and he won't stop saying "CHAMONE!" and he spends most of the missions with HIS HAIR ON FIRE? It took me a while to get that reference and I wonder how many people actually remember when MJ's hair was on fire...

The game has three "worlds" not counting the movie studio, you know the drill, it's the obligatory western level, the obligatory horror level and... THE OBLIGATORY TITANIC LEVEL? What the?!? Oh, it's so they can make the "going down on a long hard thing" joke... ¬_¬

These levels consists of an initial normal errand or stunt work, after which Larry with fawn over the female actress and open a "dream sequence", yes... most of the game is a dream sequence, but it's the "better" part of the game where they pull out all the terrible jokes they can think of... The western level has a bunch of cacti shaped like naughty bits... there is even one cactus that's obviously giving head to the other. Oh! And one stone is shaped like a hand giving you the finger! Classy! The Titanic level has lewdly shaped icebergs too, not to mention it's the weirdest level... It's is kinda like the movie and you must find a way into first class, so you do a few tasks to get your way into first class, including the most exciting mini-game ever.. SHUFFLEBOARD!

The studio itself was supposed to have GTA-like system, where the Security guards will chase you down if you do something illegal, but I only got the "alarm" three times and I almost never saw any guards chasing me, I only saw one guard once, on foot, who I hit with my cart... and got caught? But nothing bad really happened, I just got sent to the "hospital" of the movie lot. And I TRIED to get the security after me, I ran over everybody, and they just ragdolled away, even if they were part of the security of even if I did it in front of security! And the carts can blow up, but that's nearly impossible unless you're trying REALLY hard or you drive them into water. The carts, and come to think of it, the people themselves and VERY scarce, most of the time it's quicker to simply run to the next objective than find a vehicle and drive there.

The world has the obligatory collectible, which are movie awards and they do nothing but get you an achievement, but frankly NOTHING in the game give anything unless it's part of the main storyline. There are "races", which are just "checkpoint challenges" which are pretty easy even for me, some say the carts suck and get stuck, but if you read the manual you'll find an "unstuck" button, which unfortunately was not give to the NPCs since I sometimes see NPC carts stuck in awkward places...

But wait, this wouldn't be a Leisure Suit Larry without hitting on women, right? Well, there are seduction mini-games.... which you CAN'T LOSE and do nothing for the main storyline and if you play them close one to another you'll really notice how some character are just pallete swaps of another's... You start by finding an object for them and you have to talk to them and give the right reply, although giving the wrong one doesn't punish you at all, it's pretty easy, just say the biggest lie you can think of. Are you hitting on a nurse? Say you own a hospital! Is she a gold digger? Tell her you're filthy rich! And in the end... You enter your trailer and... You hear them talk?

So yeah, this game is an abomination, but an enjoyable one, if you play it in the MST3K mindset and you know it's going to be bad and it only makes me wish Europe had Deadly Premonition so I could compare.

Oh, did I mention I was playing this while I had just gotten Super Mario Galaxy 2 and New Super Mario Bros. Wii? I must have really enjoyed it to have played it to completion while I had these in the backlog!

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