?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 

Battling the Backlog Week 16: Cheesy FPS Edition

About  

Previous Entry Battling the Backlog Week 16: Cheesy FPS Edition Sep. 21st, 2009 @ 04:36 pm Next Entry
Redneck Rampage:

This game made me realize one of the problems with many old FPS games, while many modern ones has levels so simple they are boring, many of the older ones are so complex that you can get lost...

I expected it to be like Duke Nukem, cheesy but fun, and... it was, for a while... Specially the expansion in which is basically a road trip where each level is a silly tourist traps, freaks shows, carnivals, you name it!

I liked the levels that were outside, but the indoor ones really bored me....

Mostly because the indoor ones are just dull corridors, while the outdoor ones are inventive or at least not repetitive...

The humorous moments... weren't that many, the only one that stood out was when I found a room with an inflatable sheep.

The rest of the game was pretty generic, mostly enjoyable, but generic....





Shogo: Mobile Force:

An anime inspired FPS? That's different! It's also has doses of comedy and I was never sure if it's just trying to be funny or if it was also making fun of anime?

Anyway, the game won me over the moment I read a sign about Irritable Bowel Syndrome...

And it's very cheesy, specially with it's gore! It was probably because of bad programming but sometimes the enemies blew up in very amusing ways, leaving legs sticking out of walls and that sort of glitches...

There is one thing that is rather disturbing, in one level you encounter the only child in the whole game, and... you can blow her up!? WHA?!  I... I... I didn't know! I thought the game wouldn't let me! But she was standing close to an enemy and I used an explosive weapon... The worst part? NOTHING HAPPENED! I just blew up a little kid and the character didn't even say anything, nor did the game punish me! WHAT THE?!?!

In this game you play some stages driving a mech which is more or less the same as the ones where you play as a pilot except you have different weapons, the game says that the different mechs play differently but I didn't notice that much of a difference...

The plot seemed a very cliche one, betrayal, people you thought dead are back, people you thought were good are evil, you know typical animu stuff....




Exodus from Earth:

WOW! This game is... terrible but awesome? Have you ever seen Santa Claus Vs, The Martians? That's the only way how I can explain how I feel about this game...

First of all, the AI is the kind that's dumb yet had magic snipers bullet that never miss, I rarely do this, but I cheated and cheated HARD and... it made this so bad its funny game even funnier!

The acting is so bad! While the got actual English speaking people and it sounds right, although not convincing, it usually doesn't make any sense... Right at the beginning you meet a guy who is speaking will a secretary, speaking about how they won a trip and wanted it to be to Borneo, then he spoke like he had already been there and said something about how monkeys stole his camera... Then he insulted me and said he would get me.... I didn't do anything to him! XD

When a game gives me such a vibe I can't help but to "dick around", the kind that makes the way most people play Saints Row 2 looks serious! I was as puerile as I could be!

I played the "Axe crotch" game, which I'm hoping is self explanatory, Kamizake bomber and shooting enemies in the butt and pretend they had an "accident"... Yeah, the kind of stuff only mature gamers do, right?

Despite it having acting almost as "good" as Resident Evil 1, bad AI it did do some things that were interesting, and it's a shame it got buried in such a cheesy and shoddy game...

The most note worthy is the forcefield "puzzle", where everything is protected by forcefields, but there isn't enough energy for all and some prevent bullets from getting in, but you can walk in easily. If you activate the turrets they'll attack you, but the extra energy makes some of the forcefields weaker and you have to figure out how to get to main generator while not getting killed by the turrets...

You also reach a new planet which is kinda nice, and you encounter mutants, which are just big burly men with drills and tools instead of arms but are a relief after killing nothing but soldiers, unfortunately, you enter a factory soon after that and it's back to corridors and soldiers again...

The final part is also interesting, where you have to deal with an indestructible final boss, it rather nice to have a boss where you had to be a bit creative instead of having the obligatory battle.

The game also tries to portray the hero as the embodiment of Murphy's Law, the game even wants to make you think that he's even more unlucky than Murphy...  Every loading screen has either one of Murphy's Law and the hero's one law which is basically saying that he can do worse, like "You can't fall from the floor", "Yes, you can!". it might have done more for the game if the English wasn't so poor...

If you like cheesy games, I don't think they get cheesier!





Wanna guess what I played on Talk Like A Pirate Day? Yep, Monkey Island: Special Edition!

I had already played the XBLA one and I did notice a few thing that seemed different, or at least more noticeable in this version,  mostly that they forgot to update the graphic in some area and that the graphics got mixed up in some places, the PTA minutes look like the Directions to Monkey Island and vice versa!

And even though I've played the game a babillion times, I don't think I ever played it that differently, and this time I tried to steal the idol first, something I always left for last... I didn't know you got a romantic scene with Elaine after it! Since I left it for last I always got her kidnapped the moment I got out of the water!

That's all I'll say, because that's all that's different from what I said when I talked about the XBLA version...




I did play one more game, Samurai: Way of the Warrior, an iPhone game made by veterans, so it had to be great, right?

Well.... Not really, it's a very basic hack and slash that doesn't bother to explain how it works, which sucked, which is rather short and has generic enemies, which sucks...

But the game is pretty and the gore is kinda cool?

I also got my first iPhone game glitch! The game gave a blue background in the final level!

Considering it came from game veterans I expected a lot more, but it didn't actually disappoint me either... it was just O.K.?
Leave a comment
Top of Page Powered by LiveJournal.com