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iPhone gaming is.. just what I expected...

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Previous Entry iPhone gaming is.. just what I expected... Apr. 14th, 2009 @ 05:49 pm Next Entry
I once had a "fancy" phone a long time ago... I got stolen, but I had backed up the data and games I got for it, so I had to buy a phone that was compatible with that data... The only one I could afford was... the N-Gage....

I'll give you a few minutes to laugh at my face....

Done? O.K.... I didn't really enjoy any of the N-Gage games, but it worked rather well for normal mobile phone games....

And recently I got an iPhone...

I didn't know what to expect gaming-wise when I got the iPhone... I knew it had a Katamari games and a Metal Gear, so I couldn't be THAT bad.. right?


[b]I Love Katamari[/b] is probably the worst Katamari game of the whole series...

The premise is rather lame... The King of the Cosmos got hit on the head with a meteor and has forgotten a few thing... Like what a cat looks like... So you have to roll up the item mentioned to beat the stage. It's nice to have an objective that isn't simply make a Katamari a certain size, but once you start to play you notice the biggest flaw of the game....

The iPhone is pretty powerful, but not powerful enough to have a stage full of items to roll up... Remember how they reduced the zombies in Dead Rising Wii so the Wii could handle the game? It's not that a severe reduction, but it IS noticiable. And like a zombie game with less zombies is less fun, a Katamari game with less thing to roll up is less fun...

The next thing you'll notice is that the controls are awful! Something the Prince seems to be on an oiled floor!

And the game only has 5 levels... and no ending... no cousins, no presents... eternal mode is playable from the start.... and no reason to replay the game once you've beat it...

Is a terrible game? Terribly frustrating? Yes! But I wouldn't call it terrible... It just looks bad compared to the other games, like Zelda II to the rest of the Zelda series...

[b]Metal Gear Solid Touch[/b] is like playing one of those light gun games, only you duck behind a barrier and recover health while you're there... So it's basically Time Crisis... with a cover system...

The game is basically a bunch of stages where you shoot "X" the soldiers to get to the next level, except sometimes you have to fight them will dealing with those bloody legs robots, and there are obviously boss battles, which are the most interesting stages of the game... and the most frustrating ones too! Instead of getting 45 minutes of cutscenes, you get a moderate amount of text, but the game only covers the first half of the game, and you'll to wait to buy an expansion of sorts to play the other half...

Drebin's shop has a bunch of images you can use as wallpapers, but the number of points required to get them all is absurd... You have enough to buy Meryl if you beat the game, so why bother to buy more?

Still, It's a pretty good game...

Oddly enough the game I'm enjoying the most is [b]Cooking Mama[/b], it's basically like the DS game, but with out the voice of Cooking Mama and with motion sensors, sometimes the controls don't respond like I wish they would, but they original game had that problem too!

It also only has a handful of recipes, but it's enough for the price of the game...


I've also tried some demos of some other games, and they look pretty nice, I probably buy the full versions of them when I have time to play them...

But like I expected, it's still just mobile games, they're pretty short compared to console games, but since they usually only cost a few bucks, you won't mind.

Why doesn't the iPhone have "full" games? I'm not sure... Maybe their service can't handle bigger files? Maybe they think the casual costumers will freak out if they see anything that costs more than 5$?

I've already played the worst iPhone game in my humble opinion the "[b]2 Minute Mysteries[/b]". The free episode is just a video with some bad acting where they ask you two questions at the end... This kind of stuff is something that could have been done in the Windows 3.1 era!

So... it seems the iPhone has terrible games that only the gullible will buy, the casual OK-ish games that are nice time wasters and games that are pretty good?

"iPhone: It's better than a N-Gage! And you can watch YouTube Poop on it!
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